So, there’s a lot of things that we as parents don’t talk about, and straight up lie about, to other parents that are also lying about said thing because there’s so much crazy parenting guilt going around these days that we can’t seem to keep straight what’s okay to do and what’s a terrible parenting faux pas that we should never mention to anyone ever.
In the spirit of just laying it all out there I’m letting you guys know a bunch of things that I do, that other parents hopefully do to.
1. Sometimes, (read a lot) I let my kids sleep in clothes and wear them the next day. Even to school. When Alice comes out for bed in an outfit instead of a night gown inside my head I’m thinking “Yes, that shaves like ten minutes off the time I have to nag her to get ready for school in the morning”I’m not great at making my bed, or anyone else’s. Literally, the only time my bed or the kid’s beds are made is if we have company coming over or, if I need to fold laundry on my bed and I need to make room.
2. Sometimes I buy organic fruit and just let my kids eat it in the grocery store. I just cross my fingers that the organic farm hand who touched my strawberries didn’t have a cold when they were packaged because my kid is starving, and I figure it’s either berries or a candy bar.
3. My kids definitely get more then the designated 2 hours of screen time a day. I’m sorry. My husband hates this. If it were up to him, we would have no electronics for the children at all, unless they’re playing the switch, which he’s okay with. But even though I know that they should probably be doing more hands-on learning activities or playing with their imaginations sometimes, screen time saves my sanity. If they’re watching Daniel Tiger, I know I have twenty minutes to do something uninterrupted, whether that’s being productive, like making dinner or doing laundry, or being very unproductive, like eating candy in secret and watching YouTube on my phone. Either way totally worth it.
4. I hate mom groups. Not like, the people in the groups, but I hate being felt like if I’m not in some sort of mom clique that does all these cool with their kids that I’m a social outcast. I’ve met a lot of nice moms in these settings but I’m socially awkward and my children rarely behave in settings like that. I swear they make it a point to be as weird as possible when there’s a bunch of other kids around being completely cute and normal. Anyway, long story short I haven’t made any long-lasting friendships at these groups.
5. I love love love the online parenting groups. Holy crap guys. It’s like the best of the internet in some of these groups. Online Facebook mom groups got me through some of my loneliest and darkest days of PPD like no one in real life could. Being online, even though you’re not anonymous makes all the difference if you need to talk about not feeling your best. I will sing praises up and down for my local PPD Facebook group and tell anyone else who’s feeling like they need help to look in to one in their area.
I let my kids jump on the couch. I actually have to lay down ground rules at other people’s houses when we go that they are not to stand or jump off the couches, because here it’s normal, and if they’re not getting hurt, I really don’t care.
I absolutely swear and drink in front of my kids. It’s not like I’m dropping f-bombs every other word and shot gunning a six pack in front of them, but I will have a glass of wine and say a curse word or two when I spill it tripping over the crazy amounts of monster trucks that are all over the floor of my house.
Lastly, I’m not great at monitoring the sugar intake of my kids on a regular basis. I used to be one of those judgy first time moms who couldn’t believe when someone let their child have an entire piece of cake to themselves! Oh, how times have changed…Of course, I won’t let them eat a family size bag of gummy bears followed up by three cups of chocolate milk. But at the end of the day sometimes I think about how my 3-year-old had pancakes for breakfast, and then some lemonade later, and a cake pop from Starbucks and a brownie after dinner with their chocolate milk and I’m like “oh…”
So, now you know. These are probably not all of my parenting secrets, I’m sure I’ll think of a lot more things that I shouldn’t be doing as I go through the rest of my years parenting these two into adulthood. All I can hope is that they both make it through long enough to tell me about all the terrible things I let them do when they were kids that would never be acceptable now, like I always do to my mom and dad.