If there’s anything I’ve learned being on this earth for a little over three decades it’s that things must change, and though I love staying up late, drinking way too much caffeine, and avoiding going to the gym at all cost while never gaining any weight my body has decided enough is enough. It’s time to get my act together, because apparently, Old Father Time is coming for me, and at some point, we all turn 30.
First off, Taco Bell is no longer a regular on the menu, actually, any of your fast food favs that used to energize you and make you ready to take on the day now make you feel miserable, and you’re going to need a nap and at least 2 full servings of real super green vegetables to make you feel even close to functioning again for at least 24 hours. Just skip the chalupa and eat a salad or something.
Staying up past 10pm will now make you feel like you were out all night dancing and drinking some fancy cocktail with too much liquor and then walked back to your house barefoot carrying your heels that seemed like a good idea for some reason at the beginning of the night. Your sleep routine is going to need some work after 30, which sucks even more if you have kids, because guess what? They don’t sleep, and they won’t let you sleep either.
Apparently, exercise is a necessity now.
Apparently, exercise is a necessity now. I used to be able to skip going to the gym for months and could go back run on the treadmill for an hour and not even break a sweat. Now, my dog escapes from the back yard and I feel like I’m dying for three days after running a quarter mile around the block to catch her. Pro tip: after 30 don’t keep exercising to look good, exercise so you don’t pull a muscle bending over to get ice cream out of the freezer after the kids go to bed.
I guess I need a skincare routine? This is a legitimate question from me. I am so terrible at washing my face daily, my skincare “routine” is usually me wiping off my makeup with a baby wipe before I go to bed, if I remember, and then putting on some sunscreen when I wake up in the morning; not like face lotion with sunscreen, just regular ol’ up and up Target’s brand sunscreen. I’ve noticed a lot of my constituents (read my group text of girl friends) are getting really into retinol and anti-aging moisturizers, so I’m assuming it is time for me to invest in some as well. At 33 years old I’m all about being myself and not really caring about what other people think of the way I look, but that doesn’t mean that I want to look a decade older than I actually am.
This is definitely not my favorite thing about my thirties, but easily the most important, is getting ahold of your finances. Being a millennial, can have its upsides, but our financial status is not something you usually here us bragging about, it’s more so the lack there of we’re complaining about. So, paying attention to where all your money is going, making a budget, and planning for your future are kind of a big deal. I promise it will be worth it in the long run to be slightly more frugal and pay off a little extra on your student debt, so maybe in 40 years you can actually think about retiring instead of getting a second job to pay off all the interest that’s racked up.
My favorite thing about being in my thirties has definitely been not caring about other people’s expeditions.
I’m an adult, I do what I want, I wear what I want, and I don’t have to please anyone to make myself feel better. If you don’t like me, that’s your problem, I’m not obligated to make anyone feel good about themselves. And, to add on to that thought, I don’t expect anyone to feel obligated to make me happy, you do you, we’re all grown-ups who should know how to be respectful to each other even if we don’t see eye to eye.
Any way you look at it, turning 30 is inevitable so we might as well make the best of it. Make sure you’re spending it with people you love, doing cool stuff, and maybe googling why retinol is so important.